I won’t deny that I’ve had my guilty pleasures when it comes to reality shows over the years. Be honest, you probably have at least one as well. But I have never, ever been able to stomach even the thought of watching any romance-based reality shows. To this day, I still don’t know whatLove Islandis, and I’m fairly confident that I’m better off not knowing. But I am a fan of both Devolver Digital and developers Nerial, and now they’re back, taking a break fromvarious gamesabout cardsin order to deliverThe Crush House,a bit of an adventure/simulation hybrid where you’re the producer on the hottest reality TV show of 1999, which happens to contain some notable twists. So is this something worth tuning in for?
As mentioned, the game sees you playing as the latest producer forThe Crush House,one Jae Jimenez Jung. Each season sees four contestants moving into the titular house, hoping to win and take that trip down the Success Slide at the end. But whether they make it or not depends on if Jae and the player can keep the audiences tuned in. Fail to do so, and the show is canceled. But while it’s all fun as the contestants start to grow thirsts for each other, some things start to feel out of place. What is with the emphasis on this Crush Juice and why are there multiple stations dispensing it all around the house? Why do none of the contestants seem to remember most of their interactions in between seasons? Where does the Success Slide actually lead? And what’s with the mysterious voices on the radio telling you to head beneath the house? It would seem that there’s even more unexpected drama here…
It’s Just (Aah) a Little Crush (Aah)
The gameplay inThe Crush Houseis simple: over the course of a week-long season, you head out into the Crush House, with a camcorder and point, shoot and film whatever the current set of audience members tuning in demands, moving around the house in order to keep up with everyone or film different bits of it. The tricky part is in figuring out what each audience wants and finding a way to satisfy the amount required. Sure, some are obvious. Standard Crush Fans are happy with anything, Drama Queens want to view interactions that kick up a storm, Sexy Seekers want those lustier reactions and Schadenfreuders want to see cast members falling on their face in one way or another.
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But as the game progresses, the audiences get weirder. Pharalogists want shots of lighthouses. Sybarites want to see luxury items. Fish Freaks want to see…well, it’s kind of right there in the name. Their tastes lie more in scenery. And then there are those with multiple kinds of desires, like Teens, Divorced Dads, Nursing Home Residents, Cynics, Libertarians…I cannot stress enough that I’m not making these audiences up, by the way, with that last one even wanting shots of fire so that they can “own the libs.” Speaking of that, while you’re filming, a livestream provides you with comments from them, each one hinting at want they want to see, each leading to “Thirsts” of different rankings that can bring in more viewers. Sure, Plumbers may settle for shots of any old water fixtures, but are there any pipes beneath the house that can get them excited (again, not making this up)?
The Money Shot
With thirty-five different audiences to unlock and attempt to please,The Crush Housegives you a lot to work with. Thankfully, there are also certain tricks to increase viewers. Shooting any combo of objects and/or cast members that appeases three audiences or more makes things go fullNBA Jamand sets everything “On Fire” for a bit, bringing in bonus viewers and encouraging players to try and find shots with a wide amount of variety. And whenever you successfully satisfy one audience, shooting bonus material for them causes viewers to spill over to the other audiences as well, meaning that if you know which ones you can easily please, you can try focusing on them. You can also purchase scenery around the house during each night, with money earned by playing ads at the cost of pausing filming. Certain ads will even bring in more money with certain audiences, and the scenery you get can also bring in more viewers (those Pharalogists need lighthouse statues to help out with their obsession, after all).
And of course, there are the twelve cast members, with four to select per season. Naturally, each one embodies certain types that befit reality shows such as this, from passionate studs like Emile to shy geeks like Veer, or the rich and strict Joyumi. And with each having different personalities and desires, this means that certain combinations can either clash a lot, hook up or just be friends. They are indeed a particularly well-crafted cast of characters, nicely playing into various tropes and providing some good bits of humor. And once again tying into the audience demands, certain audiences even have certain favorite cast members who they’ll love just having on screen, providing yet another way to try and rack up audience numbers inThe Crush House.
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But with a mostly-randomized batch of audience members each day (two new audiences appear each day, with the rest being random, then all the audiences are random once anyone is unlocked), demands based on certain aspects such as scenery, and a cast that can randomly move about and have random interactions, this means that the odds of succeeding inThe Crush Housecan sometimes be…well, random. Sometimes you get a group of audiences that are easy to please, other times, less so, especially if you haven’t unlocked certain scenery yet or have cast members with certain relationships (no enemies means less drama, after all). So sometimes, it feels like the best strategy is to just quit until you get a set of audiences that works better for you (or you can always just flip on Casual mode and film to your heart’s content without fear of cancelation, which is always a nice addition).
Diva Demands
Still, the challenge of trying to figure out how to satisfy all your required audiences as quickly as possible (mainly to allow more time for commercials to bring in money) always does manage to keep things fun, and it is indeed truly satisfying whenever you nail that perfect shot that quenches as many thirsts as possible, especially as the number of audiences per day increases.The Crush Housestill has one more trick up its sleeve, though. While one of the rules given to Jae is to never talk to the cast members, it should come as no shock that you end up having to do so in order to progress the game. AT night, after each successful day, you may talk to one of the cast members and get a task from them, such as Coco wanting you to film three consecutive minutes of them in order to help build their popularity, or Ayo wanting you to film her getting into fights with two different characters while keeping the camera focused on her derrière, since she believes that’s what sells the show.
These provide nice extra challenges and even give extra insight into each character (yes, even the one who wants to focus on booty fights), but more importantly, the more of them that you do, the more you progress the plot, getting in contact with mysterious figures and learning more of the secrets behindThe Crush House…well, mostly. See, without heading too far into spoiler territory, Nerial are kind of doing the whole “subversive horror” angle with the plot, much like games such asFive Nights at Freddy’s.Unfortunately, they also copied a bit of the “drip-feed” approach of storytelling from them as well, so while the story does have genuine good twists, shocking moments and clever ideas, it does feel like a few threads get annoying due to parts where it can get too vague, as though there are always one or two pieces of the puzzle always missing.
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A Blast of ’90s Cheese, And a Blast Overall
In the end, though,The Crush Housestill succeeds thanks to its surprisingly captivating and rewarding gameplay. But of course, special attention must be given to its graphics and soundtrack as well, with a cool blend of bright colors and cartoonish styles that manages to make everything feel perfectly charming yet tacky, if that makes any sense, embodying some of the cheesier aspects of the ’90s (such as the Furby-style “Chorby” mascots). And the soundtrack features a nicely-eclectic blend of appropriate tunes for different moods (and audiences) as well, down to ’90s ska. It does seem weird that the emphasis is on the ’90s, as I personally recall most of these kinds of shows popping up in the 2000s. I guess we’re just trying to avoid any 2000s nostalgia boom for as long as possible, and as someone who recalls that era, I can’t blame anyone for wanting to skip it. So let’s just settle in with this unique ’90s twist on it, all while trying not to think too hard about what’s in the Crush Juice.
Closing Comments:
While the more randomized elements ofThe Crush Housecan make it frustrating at times, this “thirst-person shooter” still delivers quite the unique and fun experience. After all, how many games can claim that they provide a challenge in seeing if players can find a way to capture three butts on camera at once while also getting a glimpse of the Success Slide to please both the Conspiracy Theorists and Mega Fans? Throw in a good spoof of reality shows with a memorable cast and some bright ’90s Malibu visuals, and you have something worth toasting over with a nice glass of Crush Juice…
The Crush House
Version Reviewed: PC
The Crush House puts players in the shoes of the producer for 1999’s hottest reality show. Pick the cast, film them and their interactions, and satisfy the various audiences and their demands…or face the consequences.
